hi im dominique

thelivinginfinite:

son let me learn you a thing

kawaii-santa-chan:

kawaii-santa-chan:

there is no teacher in my history class rn and we are all just sitting here and being really quiet and whenever somebody opens the door, everyone turns around because we think its a sub but its not and then we just shush whoever walks in

update: we’re taking attendance and sending it down so nobody suspects that we dont have a teacher

UPDATE: THE PRINCIPLE WALKED IN AND DIDNT NOTICE ANYTHING

(Source: stridazzle, via egberts)

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hungarian:

it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn

(via pizza)

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hungarian:

i’ll never delete my tumblr so when my kids are like “ugh MOM u don’t understand”, i’ll show them my tumblr so they can realize i was once young & laughed at dick jokes

(via madturbating)

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felodese:

Charles Bukowski - The Suicide Kid, from Slouching Toward Nirvana
I went to the worst of barshoping to getkilled.but all I could do was toget drunkagain.worse, the bar patrons evenended upliking me.there I was trying to getpushed over the darkedgeand I ended up withfree drinkswhile somewhere elsesome poorson-of-a-bitch was in a hospitalbed,tubes sticking out all overhimas he fought like hellto live.nobody would help medie asthe drinks keptcoming,as the next daywaited for mewith its steel clamps,its stinkinganonymity,its incogitantattitude.death doesn’t alwayscome runningwhen you callit,not even if youcall itfrom a shiningcastleor from an ocean lineror from the best baron earth (or theworst).such impertinenceonly makes the godshesitate anddelay.ask me: I’m72.

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inbox:

inbox:

I FOUND MY TWIN ON OMEGLE

(via lohanthony)

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endlssss:

majortvjunkie:

urbanfuck:

fun fact: me in the white shorts

fun fact: me in the gray shorts kissing the cutest boy in the world

perfect picture

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breadboxes:

breadboxes:

what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot

“where did my van gogh”

(Source: coolanimeblog, via pizza)

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chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

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